What's goes around comes around

I will pay off my debts for this life, pathetic life, spent more than half of my lifespan, slogging like a slave, a maid, paying off the debts that I owned in my previous life!! The problem is I still have to continue to pay till the day I die, not on my bed but at the bed in the hospital, with needles and oxygen mask, suffocating and a slow death!!! That's what I have seen from now for my future!!

Hopefully, I will pay back everything I owned in my current life and I hope I will be better in the next life, free of debts!!!!

Grumble...grumble

DO YOU THINK I CARE??!! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN SHIT!!!!

WHEN IS THE WORLD END COMING?

Mumble Mumble

My bro is an asshole!! He always uses his own scale to measure me!! Just because I didn't play my Kingdom Hearts PS2 game doesn't mean he can dismember the PS2 that we both shared the cost and put it in his room as a white elephant!!!

Since he already had his PS3 (without giving me the $$ for this month home allowance as promised), why can't he just bring the PS2 out and leave it here, for me to play, at anytime I like!!! It doesn't matter right, in the living room, waiting for me to touch it or become a white elephant in his room!!

I hate people who judges me with their own ruler!!

Secondly, I heard he is getting engaged this nov and since their new flat unit is under construction, they will be staying with us!! Hello??!! Shouldn't he discuss with us first and we are not the first one to know and I think we will be the last ones to know.

Thirdly, he is a super super super asshole!!! He bought a new TV and put it in his room so that he can play his PS3 game!! Fine, I have no problem with it but who is paying for all this electricity bills, is ME!! ME!! I am paying for everything in the house yet I am treated like a "3rd class citizen" once again!!

Asshole!!!

Mumble...mumble

Why I had to rush through the days just to come out with the draft drawings while you just re-drew everything after that just because you were at home with ample time!!!!

Then don't bother to ask me to draw again!! People just like to take whatever other people had done through hard works and add on or copy to become theirs!!! Tsk!Tsk!

Just a bad lousy moment at work!!! Mumble Mumble...

Gone are those days when we were young & free

With the screening of Titanic 3D this year, it brought back the memories of 15 years ago when the movie was first shown and we were very young back then.

Remember the white blouse and the blue long skirt, finished with a pair of white school shoes, we were so excited about the show and engrossed with the tragic ending. In addition, the main part was we were mesmerized by the Leonardo DiCaprio who was so much younger back then.

Even now, I can still remember the sniffing sounds I heard when we were in the cinema, watching the show.

The ironical part is that we are still touched by the movie but no longer we were together. Everyone is living with their own life, taking their life to a new level as we race against the forever unstoppable time.

I didn't want to watch the Titanic 3D because although the story is still heart wreaking and sad but long gone that feeling back then.
The most important part is that at the time, that moment, it was one of the happiest moment in my life but gone are those days when we were young and free....

Is Time to let go

Sorry, I have to let you go.

I have been carrying this burden with me for 10 years and it will continue till the day you are gone.

I thought I can continue to carry this burden till the day you leave this world in peace but I really cannot take it anymore!

I know I am not filial child by letting you go but I have another burden with me and same as you, it is getting heavier with every step that I venture forward.

I feel physically, emotionally and psychologically drained; I have already lost all the hopes I have for myself in the future, in fact, I see no future lies ahead of me.

The only thing that kept me moving is to carry these two burdens till the day has come and I will be gone too.

I thought I can bear it but I cannot now.

I thought I can carry it but I cannot now.

I thought I can wait for that day but I cannot now.

Because I am just one step away from breaking apart.

I am sorry, I have to let you go.

Forgive I will not ask but I will join you soon.

Pick up

For the past few days, I am getting better physically and emotionally. I was sick for the past few weeks, a bad cough that lasted for two weeks; mentally, I managed to pick myself up slowly, pace by pace and a good friend of mine had been with me through the hard time.

Finally! I had signed up for a new course, a course that I have been wanting to do since school days; class starting in another week, I am looking forward to it and I had bought new note book, stationary for the course!!

Now, I am so looking forward to the year 2012, filled with hopes and dreams!! Two trips for 2012 have been confirmed, something to look forward to and keep myself moving forward.